Friday, December 6, 2013 | By: Ray

How will I heal without your hand holding my skin together?

Porcelain faced
My eyes shine with loss

I'm losing more of you
every day

You were the only one
who not only
saw through
my facade
but
cut through
my pain

Now I'm the one
left
holding
the
knife.
{Prompt: The song "Knife" by Rockwell}
Copyright: December 2, 2013

Then and Now

I miss you more than anything.
You used to sing
words I would hear
and start to tear.

Water splashing onto the ground.
The lost heart found,
But that was then,
before love dimmed. 

I've made stinging cuts with my blade
Scars that won't fade
are on the place
you'd rest your face. 

{Prompt: Using the Minute Poem form, admit something personal.}
{The Minute Poem is rhyming verse form consisting of 12 lines of 60 syllables written in strict iambic meter. The poem is formatted into 3 stanzas of 8,4,4,4; 8,4,4,4; 8,4,4,4 syllables. The rhyme scheme is as follows: aabb, ccdd, eeff}

Copyright: November 30, 2013
Saturday, November 16, 2013 | By: Ray

The Choice is Yours

I want to be close to you
in every way.
Even when we touch
I inch myself closer
as if somehow 
by removing the 
millimeters 
of space 
my heart 
will 
climb 
into 
your 
skin.

I don't want this beating thing anymore. 
This 
        is my 
                   plea. 

Take it. 

It was always yours.
Just like the choice is now. 

(choose
               me
                      .
                       . 
                         .
                           
                             please)
   

{Grey's Anatomy quote: "Okay, here it is, your choice... it`s simple, her or me, and I`m sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me."}
Copyright: November 16, 2013

Saturday, November 9, 2013 | By: Ray

Red

Loving you was like breathing life into a deflated stretched out balloon
Blew out everything I had, tried to breathe back in, but it all went wrong
Loving you was like landing in the sky without even leaving the ground
Not sure when I jumped, but it was high enough, no longer bound

Losing you is blue like my tear filled eyes
Missing you is dark like storm filled skies 
Everything you said is floating around my head
I could never forget how loving you was red

Touching you was feeling my heart beat in another skin
Feeling you was knowing I'd never have to be lost again
Fighting you is like tearing into my own flesh 
My own words razor marks always newly fresh

I tell myself "I'm wrong
My feelings are just a song
I won't be like this for long"

Can we just move on? 

I still love you in red.

{Prompt: Heartbreak, Rhyme} Copyright: November 9, 2013
Monday, November 4, 2013 | By: Ray

Part two of something I thought would have ended long ago...

I fear 
your hands 
will never 
reach across 
the pit of solitary 

to find 
the un-swung 
axe blade
my heart 
still clings to daily.

I fear
my hands 
will.

Help.


{Phobias: Autophobia- Fear of being alone or of oneself.}
Copyright: November 4, 2013
Saturday, October 26, 2013 | By: Ray

Frost Beckons

My tears fall 
like leaves
scattered across
a million places. 

Without you, 
I have no rake 
to gather up 

my pieces. 

I'm wistfully waiting 
for the inevitable 
cold shoulder. 

When will the frost 
create that 

delicious layer 
protecting 
my core?


{Prompt: Pick a season- Autumn; 40 words exactly} 
Copyright: October 26, 2013
Thursday, October 24, 2013 | By: Ray

My heart turned to tin...

too long ago
to remember
what it was like to be beating

for now
it just breaks
                          and cries
too pliable to mend itself

a drop of rust
                           callousing

each place
                       your touch
                                             
                                               
                                                  won't reach. 



[Author's Note: Tin is a malleableductile and highly crystalline silvery-white metal. When a bar of tin is bent, a crackling sound known as the tin cry can be heard due to the twinning of the crystals]
Copyright: October 24, 2013
Friday, October 18, 2013 | By: Ray

Torturous Refrain

Do you hear it? 
My skin is crying
Refuses to hush its wails while I fix my too easily read face
Hand tremors,  a physical resemblance of my quivering heart
Tides of urge rush across that place only you know
It's that spot where red fencing became a sensitive invisible barcode.
Only I can feel the numbers
But your touch is the ebbe 
I can only define as 
Solace 


Copyright: October 18, 2013
Monday, October 14, 2013 | By: Ray

My middle name should be Abide

I'm waiting
for that pristine moment
when you suddenly realize
I've abided too long
and there's no end in sight.
    I'm wasting away.

How long
until I've simply evanesced
because you forgot
I need you
to keep my light on?

{Prompt: ABIDE, 40 words}
Copyright: October 14, 2013
Thursday, October 3, 2013 | By: Ray

Flooded

Day 1: 

I feel like I'm chained
to the bottom of a pool
Already up to my knees
the water rises daily
Another inch numb
Another part of me gone

Day 7: 

I've lost the ability to run to you
All I can do is wait
and pray that 
you are the one with the bucket


Day 14: 

Today I lost my hands 
It's not like anyone holds them anyways
I can't even find the time to grasp 
the ever slipping ghost of 
who I thought you were going to be

Day 21:

I'm shaking
I can't seem to stop 
my own eyes contributing
to this ever growing 
tear pile

Day 28: 

When will this end
You try to tell me
happy things
to make me feel 
sunshine again
But my ears drowned days ago
Yell, sweetheart 

Day 30:

My captor and I made a compromise
I'll pull the plug on this 
suspended animation
but
only if 
I carry my tears in a jar
and catch them all

A hidden bottle 
caught in my throat. 


Copyright: September 30, 2013
Saturday, September 21, 2013 | By: Ray

Wrecked

I was rubble.
Crying over spilled tears,
I lost all the pieces. 

You wrecked me,
but in a good way. 

My walls 
erected as a stupid attempt
at erasing the past. 
You touched every last one. 
You found every weakness.

When I first tried to invade your walls,
I never meant to start this war 
But, 
      You will always be my wrecking ball
                    who knocked out all my pain.


{Prompt: Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus}
Copyright: September 21, 2013
Friday, September 20, 2013 | By: Ray

Wishing for Failed Refrain

My Muse, you cry
forsaken and breathless
I welcome tears
So I will greet them with a kiss
A poet beating love and rosy into your cheeks
singing a lullaby
so pretty eyes heavy

Sleep, love
a thousand silent smiles born before skies awake

{Prompt: Make a poem using this http://www.shadowpoetry.com/magnet.html}
Copyright: September 20, 2013
Thursday, September 19, 2013 | By: Ray

I just want someone to pick up the pieces...

A glass bottle
carbonated with neglect
left in the spotlight
for far too long.

I'm still finding shards 
in my palms
in my back 
in my arms
wherever the dust collects

Sometimes I shatter when no one's touching.


{Prompt: Shards, 38 words}
Copyright: September 19, 2013
Sunday, September 15, 2013 | By: Ray

Your World

Since I entered your world
everything is pink.
I borrowed it
without asking.
Pink is better than black right? 


Sometimes 
I don't see the beauty in pink. 
It's wrapped in everything I want to be. 
But also, everything I can't come close to.
I think it's the white.
So pure.
So soothing.
It unsettles my dark side. 


I know I need it. 
I know I need you. 
Pink is beautiful
You're beautiful. 


Red doesn't like me sticking around.
Black and Red don't mix well. 
It intensifies everything. 
Why does it have to be only one? 


I'm sorry I let my black show today. 
Promise me it won't turn your days gray. 

{Prompt: Prompt: 1. Je vois la vie en rose. - "I see life in pink." Literally means, Everything in life is beautiful...}
Copyright: September 15, 2013

Thursday, September 12, 2013 | By: Ray

My Cheshire Pain

There was a point in time
where pain was bad.
It meant

stop
                               look at yourself

something is wrong
                                 
                                  fix it.


Then somehow some way,  I fell in a hole
flipped the world upside down
and pain became the goal.

When did I become crazy enough
to consider pain the reward
and pleasure the punishment.
How did my thin skin become so tough?

It's only when the pain disappears
do I realize
it doesn't make sense. 
{Prompt:  "Only the insane equate pain with success" - Cheshire Cat (Alice in Wonderland)}
Copyright: September 12, 2013
Wednesday, September 11, 2013 | By: Ray

To the only person who's made it through my force field of good intentions

Love, 
In my poetry, I call you my sun.
I've written to you during countless revolutions
One thing never changes;     
                                     I orbit you. 
~Your Moon


Dear, 
If I could fathom how deeply my heart aches for you,
I wouldn't keep saying "Why am I crying?"
instead of "I miss you.".
~Only yours


Darling, 
You doubt your value as if you're a one cent coin.
But, keep your head up. 
When I put you in my heart, 
I became the luckiest person in the room.
~Your Banker


Sweetheart, 
I love everything about you
except for the way you love yourself.
You don't. 
You should. 
I can teach you how.
~Your Mirror

{Prompt: creative letters}
Copyright: September 11, 2013
Sunday, September 8, 2013 | By: Ray

For You

I change my patterns
I fit my square life in your round expectations
trying to hide the gaps of where I miss the mark
Every jagged edge 
Every scar
A reminder of how hard I tried to mold myself
into your cookie cutter definitions
I used to live for you
I can't do that anymore 
Now I live 


                               for me

{Prompt: "For you"; Written in honor of National Suicide Prevention Week}
Copyright: September 8th, 2013
Tuesday, August 27, 2013 | By: Ray

Let's Go

Let's go
somewhere

Somewhere
only we know


Take a trip
starting with your smile
and ending with a sigh
Follow the path 
that crosses the distance
between our breaths
Begin our journey
to arms called
home again


Let's get out of here
to the place where thoughts
are like cloud watching
and you are the ground
I can rest my heart on
Falling like a star
to the only place gravity 
knows is safe

Just for a second
let's go somewhere
together

{Prompt: "If you have a second why don't we go, somewhere only we know" less than 30 lines}
Copyright: August 27, 2013
Friday, August 16, 2013 | By: Ray

An attempt at slam poetry: I feel like a Child

The first time you took my hand, 
I knew the world would spin forward now. 
I could stop backpedaling through the dark shadows of my mind and
just breathe
I knew I had found someone worthy of "best friend". 
I mean that in the way that you are the best person 
of all the people I know
of all the friends that I have
you are the best prize in my collection of hearts. 
I won the day I met you. 

If I could write a poem every day, all of them would be about you
because I know you always have time to read them. 
When you took my hand, my head stopped. 
All the thoughts from the years of anxiety and depression
vanished like a tidal wave washing away the sand. 
You found my lost child and told her the monsters were gone
shining your light on all the broken mirrors shattered by loved ones past

I could never get you out of my mind. 
My brain and my heart have always been connected, 
so since I let you hold onto my heart I've been captive. 
However my emotions are still childlike
when I don't get to see you, I feel like I can't remember you
I want to remember everything about you
The way you hold your weight when you walk in a room
The way you play music to fill the silence
The way you side smile when you're truly happy. 
The longer we're apart, the more my heart feels like it's coming back to me. 
I don't want it anymore. 
When I don't get to see you, I feel like my skin is empty. 
There's no one to lean on me while watching movies
There's no one to hit when they're making fun of me. 
There's no one to hold onto when my trigger wires are cut. 
The longer we're apart the more distance of time keeps me from you. 
I can't wait anymore. 
I know I'm not losing you, but lending you out like a library book
there's always the potential of no return. 

I tell myself, "I'm an adult", but why is it when you have to make a choice
my 4 year old heart wants to sit in the corner or in the middle of a parking lot
and pout and cry and scream "Pick me!
I was here first!"
How much dust must collect on my heart before you'll pick it up again?
I love you
and I will wait. 
No matter how long it takes.
My world is still spinning forward. 
My hand is still open for you to take.

Copyright: August 16, 2013


Thursday, August 15, 2013 | By: Ray

Liquid Sun

i.

Sun rising with your smile,
make the darkness 
hide it's torment
behind your teeth.

I could never shine like you.

ii. 

Submerged in tears,
proximity my only 
life vest.

I am lost at sea.
Nauseated by 
emotional upheaval.

When did I get lost? 

iii.

Patience is a virtue
bottling the 
carbonation in my throat. 

If you shake me,
                        I will implode.

iv. 

A liquid sun
slipping through 
my fingertips.
Our interactions
are intangible. 

I wish I could 
staple you to 
my heart,
so I'd never worry 
about you 
evaporating.


{Prompt: 3-5 Vignettes}
Copyright: August 15, 2013

Wednesday, August 14, 2013 | By: Ray

Just Breathe

There are days when the world feels 
like it's turning backwards.
The wind is always in your face.
But, hold on tight
The stillness will come.

A pause in all things "life"
just so you can take a breath.
Feel the roses.
Drink the beauty.
Relax in the proximity.
Just wait. 
Just be patient.
Just breathe.

Copyright: August 14, 2013
Monday, August 12, 2013 | By: Ray

Empty

Too long it's been.


I need you here
next to me.
Holding my heart
in your hands, so
I don't have to keep beating
the darkness away.


My skin feels empty
without you.

{Prompt: Empty}
Copyright: August 12, 2013
Friday, August 9, 2013 | By: Ray

Whisper to You

I pray you grow into your wings,
sweet child

This world is vast
beyond measure
Fly to every corner
See the unseen
Embrace the wind

Believe in yourself,
darling
For there are many
who will doubt you
exist.
I will always believe in you


{Prompt: picture "Enchanted Whispers"user img}
Copyright: August 9, 2013
Thursday, August 8, 2013 | By: Ray

Darling

Darling,

When my mask feels heavy
beginning to crack
with all the pressure of
smiling through a hurricane,
you carry it for me.
I love the way you think.

When my skin feels
like it's swallowing
my pride, and the
dizziness from the
world spinning beneath
my knees sets in,
you call me home.
I love the way you breathe.

When I need people so desperately
I run, only to lay eyes on
the distance uncrossable in time
to release the bottled tears
before they burst,
you calm my fears.
I love the way you love.

You're irreplaceable,
a necessary straight line.

{Prompt: Write a letter to someone you feel you need to spend more time with}
Copyright: August 8, 2013
Tuesday, August 6, 2013 | By: Ray

Safe Haven

You are
my safe haven. 

There is no better
alternative than 
resting my head 
against your heart
just for a little while

Even though I may
try to resist sometimes
your love invades
my walls and leaves
all to ruins.


{Prompt: Use 7 word bank words in 40-50 words, 40 words exactly; Word bank words: Against, Alternative, Haven, Heart, Invade, Resist, Ruins}
Copyright: August 6, 2013

Us

I. 
The distance between 
our hearts is thick
but thin enough 
for you to break
with just one touch

I've been waiting
behind the distance
but you seem to 
want it there.

Is this love?


II. 
Inside
the loneliness is
killing me with each
breath of withdrawal

You're gone
I should have 
stopped you 
I should have 
stopped you

It's my fault
there's nothing
I can do
to hate you
instead of loving you
and hating myself


III.
Hurting still
I realize 
I can still be a princess
just not in your castle

My stars are dim
My brightest one 
still in your eyes
You're a thief 

Flames watered down
I'm still smoldering 
I will burn bright again
without you

I will be whole again
It's my turn to run


{Prompt: 3 vignettes; I. Christina Perri- Distance, II. Kelly Clarkson- I Hate Myself for Losing You, III. Coldplay- Princess of China}
Copyright: August 6, 2013
Monday, August 5, 2013 | By: Ray

Blame

Why can't you just see
what it is that 
you've done to me?

You won't know 
and you won't ask
I'll just keep on wearing my mask. 

Maybe someday
you'll see truth, 
lay eyes on scars
from my troubled youth.


{Prompt: 10 lines}
Copyright: August 5, 2013
Saturday, August 3, 2013 | By: Ray

Trust

Trust is
pulling out your own heart
and giving it to someone else
saying,
"You can hold this for a while".

When they say,
"I don't trust you",
you can feel the hole
where your heart used to be,
wishing you could take it back,

but at the same time
knowing you never will.

{Prompt: trust}
Copyright: August 4, 2013
Friday, August 2, 2013 | By: Ray

Drowning

At 16 I almost died.
Swimming in the river,
I stepped off the floor's end
and quickly fell.
My brother afraid
grabbed on, trying only 
to save himself.

Ever since I've wondered
what it would be like to die.
When life gives you lemons,
are you supposed to cry?

When life pours out it's hardships,
you realize the more you're frowning
that you don't really need water
to feel like you're drowning.


{Prompt: "You don't need water to feel like you're drowning"}
Copyright: August 2, 2013

On Living Color

Everything was red
Thinking it was love
I tried to breathe it in
Bathe in it and 
Hide it in my pockets

When I went to 
pull it out again
on a rainy every day
I found a chameleon 
who called itself pain

It changed all to blue
getting deeper as I 
sank into the ocean
of tears that wouldn't stop
falling from my heart


{Prompt: "I should like the fields tinged with red, the rivers yellow and the trees painted blue. Nature has no imagination.”― Charles Baudelaire}
Copyright: August 2, 2013
Thursday, August 1, 2013 | By: Ray

Overcome

The only time
I was ever enveloped
completely by your love
was when your heart
reached out and
comforted mine.
You took both my hands.
You locked them in yours.

A moment so fleeting,
I never thought
it would exist again.
To be engulfed by
your caring core,
sensory overload.
Overcome,
I could not move.

If someone had said
"The only way
to save yourself
is to run"
I would have died there.
Melted clay in your hands.

A feeling that only returns
with your gentle touch
in the spot where
I attacked myself.

Complete acceptance.
You cover all wounds,
bandaging my heart with your hands.
You gingerly pry
the broken shards of my soul
out of the lies they've drowned in.

Only you have
the power
to make me feel
like a child
held entirely in the arms
of a loved one;
Safe,
Content,
Overcome.

{Prompt: Overcome}
Copyright: August 1, 2013

Surrendered

Three years, a civil war
A rebellious brain taking
the world out
on body's flesh

Finally someone
interceded
crossing the enemy lines
to raise the white flag

Now the war is over
a new journey begins
Peace has been restored
and I can start the search

for the antebellum me

{Prompt: Antebellum, 50 words exactly}
Copyright: July 31, 2013

Touch

Living life alone
I crave one thing
but it is the only thing
I can never give myself

I long for the touch
of another
simple contact
for even seconds

The vulnerability
is the consequence
for I must rely on
someone else

Fear of unending
non-satisfaction
and rejection
Only one person can I trust

When we touch
we touch entirely
even our hearts reach out
interlocking fingers

{Prompt: "When we touch, we touch entirely"- Anne Sexton}
Copyright: July 31, 2013

Relapse

Fighting your own flesh
is tiring
One day the ground you've held
will slip through your fingers

Marked raw with emotion,
you paint the worry on your wrist

But you'll get back up
Pick up the dirt you're waist deep in
and bind the earth with defeat

{Prompt: Relapse}
Copyright: July 31, 2013

Dear Heart,

Oh Heart,
Be still
and listen

I long to teach you many things

This is how you learn to fly
This is how you beat all on your own
This is how you break the barriers

But you are like a child
looking for a lost balloon
So far gone
you can't remember its color

One day the balloon will come
back down to earth
I pray you'll be there, sweet heart
I pray you'll remember

Please keep beating, little one
I still need you to live

{Prompt: portray your feelings}
Copyright: July 31, 2013

Forgetting

My memories slip away
More and more everyday

Some moments should never return
But I'll never forget how your cold eyes burn

{Prompt: Forgetfulness}
Copyright: July 29, 2013

Flames

Engulfed by flames
Only the Phoenix
Can survive
The rebirth
Ashes dead and burned
Come back to life

The only one
Who can be reborn
From my ashes
Is me

{Prompt: Reborn from Ashes, 30 words}
Copyright: July 28, 2013

Annihilation

You won't understand the pain
of self injury
until you begin
the war upon yourself
where the only goal
is complete annihilation
of the skin you call "home"
Only then will you be free

Fenced in by red lines
becoming white scars
Freedom is
bound by the cuffs of
long sleeves and bracelets.

{Prompt: Annihilation}
Copyright: July 26, 2013

Fears, Fears Everywhere, but not a Soul to Help

fear
skin crawling
hands shaking
pulse racing

all of this I can handle
all of this I can endure
but honestly
nothing is scarier

than the dark hole of


Alone

{Prompt: Autophobia- the fear of being alone}
Copyright: July 25, 2013

Numb

When you're gone
I'm scared that
I'll be numb forever

When you return
I pray I don't lose you
while I climb back into feeling

{Prompt: I'm scared that one day I'll be numb}
Copyright: July 24, 2013

Lazarus

Loved by Jesus
A man struck ill
Zeallessly Jesus waited
A man dead four days
Removed tombstone
Undead a man walks out
Seeing is believing

{Prompt: Acrostic, Lazarus}
Copyright: July 22, 2013

Even the Sun Can Cry

The Sun is known for
her happiness and joy

She is forever revolving alone
Joined by the Moon when
the distance is shorter

She still shines bright when
the distance seems insurmountable

But when you take away the Moon

Even the Sun can cry

{Prompt: "Even the sun can cry"}
Copyright: July 21, 2013

Bound by Inked Honor

I thought you were my twin
Souls identical in fraternal bodies
A bond marrow deep
Never to be broken

You were my rebellious phase
I adored you like a role model
You are older by age
but younger in maturity

Branded at ninteen
We were marked forever
By ink penetrated
Matching like our hearts

At twenty I realized
I was never like you
Blinded by my love
You caused more damage

I finally could see
A reason to take back my heart
I could now be free
Souls always far apart

Our lives have grown separate
A blessing for us both
Although yours remains the same
My tattoo is forever changed

I am no longer
bound by inked honor
My body can forget you
like my heart wants to do

{Prompt: "Bound by inked honor"}
Copyright: July 19, 2013

Burnished Eggshell

Pale and Fragile
My soul is vulnerable
Like an egg

The contents within
So much potential
Carefully pliable

You found it
Sunk in the oceans
of tears

Guarded by
the walls
of distance

You still cared

You promised you'd never leave

and gave back my shine

A burnished eggshell
My soul is with you.

{Prompt: "Burnished" and "Eggshell" in >20 lines}
Copyright: July 18, 2013

Look Behind

Look behind and you see
I've waited for you to notice me
I'm afraid when you turn
You'll shoot looks unconcerned

{Prompt: "Look behind and you see..." 21 words exactly}
Copyright: July 17, 2013


Certainty

Grey lines everywhere
Uncertain of what should be crossed
Certainly some need crossing

We get closer
Uncertain of how close is too far
Certainly we both need it

With certainty know that I love you

{Prompt: choose a poem by the host and use it as a prompt, 35 words}
Copyright: July 17, 2013

Postcard

I.
        To: My Heart

                    Why can't you beat
                    when you're alone?
                               Please,
                    You don't need to wait for him.

II.
        Refused Delivery- Return to Sender

{Prompt: Write two vignettes, "Postcard". [II is not technically a vignette, but I chose to keep the emotion factor instead of editing to comply]}
Copyright: July 17, 2013

Standing

Standing here
Next to you
But slightly behind

I want to be close
as close as I can get
without touching

You are in front
because where you lead
I will always follow

Close enough
to show equality

Far enough ahead
to show your superiority

I am humbled to be worthy of your presence

{Prompt: "Standing here...next to you"}
Copyright: July 17, 2013

If Only...

If only I had met you sooner
You could have been mine
I could have been yours
The love would be ours

I can feel your heart in mine
But mine will never be in yours.
You are completely hers
Forever you'll be the two of you

Recently getting closer
I've felt your strength
Wishing for arms like yours
To hold me and support me

So deeply connected
We think exactly the same
A quality couples adore
is another like you in store?

I can not say a word
A silent plea
That you will choose me
But my love for her is greater still

This will remain a secret crush
A bottled message
Never to be revealed
Never to be touched

{Prompt: Secret Crush}
Copyright: July 16, 2013

Pain of Silence

Silence
Words flung
all toward me
while I wait
in
Silence

Stop talking
Nobody wants your opinion
Who asked you
You're not listening
You never pay attention to me
I can't handle all your problems
You're just bringing me down

Why don't you ever talk?

Sit still
Stop doing that
Don't slouch
You can't sit like that
You look funny when you do that
What are you doing
You look ridiculous

Why are you so self-conscious?

Don't touch me
You're hurting me
You're in my space
People will see
Get off of me
Well that was awkward
You're too close

Why don't you ever touch people?

You shouldn't be eating that
You should lose a few pounds
You're too big
You've got quite the gut
Why don't you diet
I think you need a bigger size
Are you sure that's going to fit

Why aren't you eating?

Way to go
It's all your fault
Wow you're stupid
Do you like me yelling at you
You must like the attention
Otherwise you wouldn't do stupid things
I can't believe you would do that

Why do you feel like a failure?

Silence
Wait for the words to stop
Wait for the chance
to get away
to get alone

Silence
Every tongue held back
Every word becomes
a shed tear
and
a new wound
as the silence is filled by
the sound of the blade

Until all that is left
is the
Pain of Silence

{Prompt: Pain of Silence}
Copyright: July 16, 2013

Dreams

As a small child
I welcomed death
But I never tempted fate.

I would dream
of being grown up and
making all my own decisions.

I felt as if
I would die young,
Never seeing old age

Now I'm older and
my dreams are reality
Feelings of death remain constant

Dreams change
to what lies ahead, but
death would be a dream I'd hate living

{Prompt: "I'm loving my dream, why do I hate living it?"}
Copyright: July 15, 2013

It is Dated Back to the Time I Loved You

I found your letter
The one you wrote to me upset
Full of emotion

Crumpled lined paper
Words fill around the tear spots
Pink pen ink

Memories long ago
It is dated back to the time I loved you
Now no more

A page full of truths
You meant every word then
Now simple lies

You had my heart
But you abused the power
Broken pieces

I forgave you
I can never look at you the same
You must move on

I've replaced you
My heart has been mended
Your letter is ash

{Prompt: "It is dated back to the time I loved you..."}
Copyright: July 15, 2013

You Were Like Lightning

Lightning strikes
Touch unwanted
Hot electricity
Never the same place

You brought the storm
The ground will
never be the same
again
Rain
Rain
Go
Away

Please
Just
Go
Away

{Prompt: Lightning in 30 words, can't use the word "bolt", use the word "lightning" only once}
Copyright: July 15, 2013

Addict

Pop
Swallow
Endure
Fake strength
Fake attitude
Fake facade
Pop
Swallow
Endure
Hate the world
Hate my life
Hate myself
Pop
Swallow
Endure
Pain in walking
Pain in standing
Pain in living
Pop
Swallow
Endure

Of all the things in life
Love hurts the most

Pop
Swallow
Endure

{Prompt: Write a poem inspired by a House M.D. character: 1) Dr. Gregory House}
Copyright: July 15, 2013

I Loved You Once in Silence

I loved you once in silence
No words spoken
Only messages exchanged
Quickly
Continuously
Successively

The silence all around
The noise only in my head
I can hear your voice
In every word
Every laugh
Every sigh

A constant virtual presence
Keeping me grounded
Unable to drift to reality
Giving me peace
Tranquility
Sanity

Right now you're gone
In a distant land
Cut off from me
I still love you
Miss you
Choose you

The silence is swallowing me
Your voice but a whisper
Only in my memory
Longing to see you
Hold you
Touch you

Soon you will return
I can't wait for that day
I will be free of the silence

Although I loved you once in the silence
I loved you even more when you set me free

Hurry back and release me

{Prompt: "I loved you once in silence"}
Copyright: July 14, 2013

New Life

Red wounds
now healed
White scars

{Prompt: Create a six word story}
Copyright: July 13, 2013

Fat Tuesday

Fat Tuesday
Starving Yourself Wednesday
Weakened Thursday
Dizziness Sets in Friday
Temptation Saturday
Strong Willed Sunday
Mirror Monday
Fat Tuesday

{Prompt: Start poem with "Fat Tuesday" and add 18 words}
Copyright: July 12, 2013

Every Person has a Color

Every person has a color
I can see it on them, in them, through them
It lingers in the way they move
Pulses in the way they breathe
Cascades with every emotion

Green, the color of me
A mixture of both cool and warm
Cool for the nature
Calm, Collected, Caring
Warm for the temperament
Lively, Loyal, Loving
A blending into being
Green, the very center of my soul

Look me in the heart and you will see it there
Rough around the edges in mind and body
Every movement calculated and permeated
Each beat flowing through me, in me, on me
Every person has a color

Even me

{There was a prompt, but the host deleted it}
Copyright: July 12, 2013

W.O.K.

Will you ever really listen?
Or have your ears deafened?
Kindness does not forever last.

{Prompt: "WOK" in precisely 15 words}
Copyright: July 12, 2013

Forgiven

You ask me to forgive you
But you have done no wrong in my eyes
Forgive yourself is what you need to do
Only then can you release the lies

{Prompt: Forgiveness in 30 words exactly}
Copyright: July 10, 2013

Heart Journey

Your Home is where your Heart is
My heart has always been with you
Ever since you opened its glass windows and peered inside, you took ownership of the contents within.
So journey into my heart
You will find my love for you there

I met you and the transparent glass panes started quivering
Knowing. Hoping. Waiting
Feeling your presence drawing closer
Longing to be opened
Letting out the love never shared
Wishing to be mended in the cracks

You touched my heart and the windows bent to your will
You quickly jumped inside before they knew what was happening.
You calmed my heart's fears like a child afraid of the dark.
You brought the light to shine again
You crooned my heart to beat confident once more
You didn't even know what was in store

A heart once walled, now crumbled.
A heart since gated, now unlocked.
A heart of broken glass, now mended.
A heart darkened, now enlightened.
A heart lonely, now a pair.

The Journey continues as memories are made
Constantly playing over in each pane of fragile glass.
Before where there was nothing, there is life, love, hope.
My heart will never be the same again.
So, tread gently as you go through the chambers
If you break the glass, it may be irreparable.

{Prompt: "If my heart had windows, you'd see a heart full of love just for you..."}
Copyright: July 10, 2013

Envy

Envy is a sin unavoidable as I feel your heart.
You will never love me like you love her.
We are a perfect match that cannot be.
You watch her with tender eyes adoring.
Eyes that will never see me.
Someday another will be mine.
Though I won't forget
I can't wait
Your hers
Forever

{Prompt: Envy in 36-56 words}
Copyright: July 9, 2013

Water Bucket

Some days I feel like a water bucket
that has taken the trip to the spigot too many times.
Each time never fully empty

Water is poured in seemingly endlessly
The carrier expecting me to bare all of the water given
Even though I am at my limit.

Water spills over the top and collects on the floor
Tears pouring from my rim
as I wait for the water to stop.

It never does.

{Prompt: (optional) water buckets, 100 words, free verse or sonnet}
Copyright: October 8, 2012

PTSD

I've wrote you many poems, but this will be my last.
I don't want to waste the creativity on you anymore.
You aren't worth the struggle.
But, I will write to you one last time.

The thoughts of what you did to me never fully vanquish.
Little moments spark memories etched into my brain.
I can still hear your breathing.
I can still see your eyes in the dim light.
I can still feel your hair on my face.
I can't handle the memories.

Please stop torturing me like this.
Time is not healing this wound.
Stay away and don't come back.
Denying that you are at fault makes you look weak not me.

{Prompt: Mental Health day}
Copyright: October 7, 2012

Poor Mary

Poor Mary is a-bleeding,
a-bleeding, a-bleeding.
Poor Mary is a-bleeding
In a room all by herself.

Why are you bleeding,
bleeding, bleeding?
Why are you bleeding
in a room all by yourself?

I'm bleeding out my feeling,
my feelings, my feelings.
I'm bleeding out my feelings,
in a room all by myself.

Don't bleed out all your feelings,
your feelings, your feelings.
Don't bleed out all your feelings
in a room all by yourself.

Don't succumb to the darkness,
the darkness, the darkness.
Don't succumb to the darkness
in a room all by yourself.

{Prompt: Twisted nursery rhymes- Take a nursery rhyme and make it dark and twisted}
Copyright: October 6, 2012

Empathy

I can't bear to feel your pain anymore.
Every class we have together feels the same
Your emotions wash over me like an un-dammed river
This hole where my heart was is a gaping wound
The tears flow easily, because my mind has no time to stop them
Reeling from the sudden impact, I cannot speak
Why you feel this way, I do not know.
I don't even know who you are.
All I can do is pray for you and hope it helps.
Maybe someday I'll fill in the blanks,
but for now, I suffer in silence.

{Prompt: Write Sadness, 10-16 lines}
Copyright: October 6, 2012

Halloween

On Halloween I can feel normal again.
It's dusk.

Hundreds of kids run around in costumes.
Teenagers are covered in makeup and fake blood.
I can remember when the scars weren't real and the blood was still fake,
But on this one day I can blend in.

Nobody can see enough detail to doubt my stories.
The dusk hides my lies.

On the day when everybody else is pretending to be something that they are not, I can actually be myself.
Parading your children around with false identities taking candy from strangers is normal;
Battling inner demons however is not.
My everyday is Halloween.

{Prompt: Pen a Halloween tale}
Copyright: October 6, 2012

Four

 One is tender-hearted.

 She is the talkative one.
 Communication is her outlet in life.
 The radio talker, poetry writer, song singer
 She breathes life into the room with every word that she speaks into existence
 One feels lonely sometimes.
 She needs others to command her heart beats now and again.
 She forgets that she commands the room with her smile.
 Without her the environment would be grey and silent.
 Her color is pale mint, a naturalist in essence, vibrant in beauty, but pastel in tenderness.
 One is truly unique
 An extrovert exterior and an introvert interior
 Thriving on touch and generosity
 One
  
 Two is strong
 She is the bold one.
 The decision-maker
 Without her nothing would ever be accomplished.
 Her bluntness comes from her inner strength, a past necessity.
 Two is soft on the inside.
 A true heart lies deep beyond her dry wit and masked face
 A wealth of compassion can be found there, ready to spring up when called for
 Sometimes she forgets to breathe in the emotions of humanness.
 Cleanly in habit and face, she orders her life
 Two is brown in color.
 She is as natural as the earth, A necessity for growth and support
 Two
  
 Three is understated
 Her subtlety is profound
 But every so often she pops to life and makes the room laugh.
 She is a precious flower.
 Tender, gentle, and delicate
 Three is the quiet one, but she is calculated.
 She is graceful and smooth in all she accomplishes
 People intimidate her, but unnecessarily
 For she is stronger than she thinks she is.
 Sweet, and never bitter, she is a true caring friend.
 Three is purple in color.
 Deep in shade, but light in heart.
 She complements all the other colors, each relationship different.
 Three

Four is loving
She is the understanding one.
Empathy incarnate, she holds the world's problems withing.
Always ready to lend out her heart 
She walks in the shadow of things.
Sometimes assumed introverted and quiet
She surprises those close to her with bursts of wit and laughter.
A lively, lovely personality despite the scars on her heart
Four finds the good in all and nurishes the soul.
She is gentle and kind, but defensive of those she loves.
Four is blue, a shade that changes in each light
Slate, baby blue, cyan, she adapts
Four 

 One plus Two plus Three plus me is four.
 Four is a perfect number, for each is never truly alone. 

{The "Four" stanza was written for me, about me, by a truly beautiful soul}
Copyright: October 6, 2012

Poetic Beginnings

This is going to be a running log of my poetry for anybody who would like to keep up. I may not post all of the poetry I've written here. Some of it is not for everybody's eyes. But a majority will be posted.
Most of the poetry I write is on a website where "contests" take place to win invisible trophies. So, a lot of my poems are based on prompts. The prompt will be at the bottom if you're interested. If you'd like to get to know me better, or take a look into my past, or if you're just bored and need something to do, here ya go lol.
Thanks for reading :)